Fridays and Fibromyalgia

It is Friday evening.  Many people head home from work and enjoy a family meal, a happy hour with friends, perhaps a date with a spouse or partner.  My friends and colleagues live for Friday evening…they plan things, do things, enjoy things.

I limp into Friday evening with a rather large dose of resentment.  I don’t make plans.  I don’t even pretend that plans are an option.  I need to rest; to recover from the working week.  I need to celebrate the fact there will be no work the next day by…well, doing absolutely nothing!  Fridays are a joy only because I know I don’t have to fear the next morning too much.

Fridays used to be family night.  We would order in pizza and watch a movie together.  As the boys got older, the decision of what to watch became harder.  Now, as both boys are middle-schoolers with attitude, they just wan to do their own thing.  Sadly, instead of insisting on family time, I succumb to the shameful desire to do my own thing too…I need to rest, sleep, mend my painfully tired body.  Then I often hear the words I fear all evening: “What are the plans for tomorrow?”  Crap!  I don’t want to think about tomorrow.  Tomorrow is the weekend; a time for cleaning, organizing, getting the house put back together, laundry, and most importantly, a time to do something with the boys.  I don’t hate the question because it reminds me of all I need to do…I hate it because it reminds me I will be letting the boys down again if I cannot muster the energy to give them something fun to do with me.  They want to do things with me…and I just can’t!

I hate Fibro with such a passion.

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