I’m NOT Depressed!

Fibromyalgia is NOT Depression!

I generally don’t even bother with doctors now. I wish the doctors, physical therapists, and psychologists who dismiss me as another loony could spend an hour in my shoes. I am NOT depressed…I crave adventure, activities and socializing SOOOOO much! I make plans that I often cannot fulfill due to the overwhelming fatigue I feel.

I have felt depressed.  I know exactly what that feels like.  It is beyond words.  After my youngest son finished treatment for leukemia, I became severely withdrawn and could not get out of bed because I literally couldn’t.  My entire mind and body refused to let me see the promise of a new day, the possibilities ahead of me, the joy of living.  Instead, I just wanted to shrink into nothing, if I never emerged into society again…that would have been okay.  Life sucked and was not worth bothering with.  

That is NOT how I feel now.  I am a happy person with regular grouches over regular day to day stuff.  I am NOT depressed.  I have my moments when I feel angry about my pain and fatigue.  I feel sad when I cannot do something that I want to do.  I feel.  THAT is the difference.

Living with Fibromyalgia can make a person feel depressed just because it is so limiting. But the version of depressed it makes you feel is really called…PISSED OFF!  It is not the life-sucking depression I have felt and yet doctors seem to think that is what I am really suffering from.  Assholes!  How dare they dismiss me like that!.  How dare they!

Education is key.  Indeed, five doctors missed my son’s leukemia because they are not clued into childhood cancer.  They don’t even think to check for it.  The same is happening with Fibromyalgia.  Doctors really are at a loss to explain it.  Tests don’t offer definitive proof that it exists; in fact tests often show the Warrior is absolutely healthy!  WTF????

Raising awareness helps bring issues to light.  Once this happens, doctors might feel inclined to actually learn more about Fibromyalgia.  Who knows, they might even spend some time looking for a cure!

As it stands now, we Warriors are fighting the good fight with very little help and support from the medical world.  Worst of all, Fibromyalgia can lead to depression, the very thing I do NOT have.  Perhaps if I fall into the depths of Hell again, the doctor will feel able to help me…and he’ll feel all jolly and successful because depression is something he is able to handle.

What are your experiences with doctors  If you have found real help, please share so we can try to get the same.




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